I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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