Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
