My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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