Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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