remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
