Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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