Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
