The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
