would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
