she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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