Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
