Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
