im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
