is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
