is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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