I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
