help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
