I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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