I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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