CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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