I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
