I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
