worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
