I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
