i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
