I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
