so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
even my farts smell like vagina
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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