my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
