We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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