I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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