But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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