I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
