Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
