i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
