So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
