One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
