I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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