and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
