i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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