yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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