Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
