Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
