He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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