im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
