those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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