She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
