we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
