Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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