i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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