What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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