He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
